I have stepped into a new paradigm. With a higher level of maturity and compassion, I try to view things through various eyes. Putting myself in people shoes, I've became a 85% of non-judgemental person. How do you want to deal with people who have different background, principles and views in life.
I try to act cool even my heart figuratively is stabbed by knife over and over again.
I try to think i am capable to deal with any difficulties on my own.
I try to create a new entity so that i would be a trendsetter instead of a follower.
I try to draft my plans so that I can obtain an outcome as i have expected.
And I try......
I think I am not strong,
I think I'm going to collapse,
I think I want to die rather than committing more sins,
I think I want to stop studying and get married early(so funny^^),
I think I am so messy,
I think I am lost...
To whom I should turn myself to?
I try to tell someone but i realize they have their own problems,
So I backed off...
And the call I get from my friend just now through Skype,
asking me how I still remain strong in this path..
The Tarbiyah Path..
remind me that I have Him...
He gives myself this strength because this quality solely belongs to him..
And remind me that I am not alone..
And i have Someone to rely on,
Someone who knows the best for me,
Someone who loves me really much to pull me into the real paradigm,
Who make me realize that I am created in this Earth with an intended purposes..
Verily, along with every hardship is relief,
So when you have finished (your occupation), devote yourself to Allah worship
And to your Lord turn all your intentions and hopes.
p/s : thanks to my friend from Ireland for the call. I know Allah have sent you to convey His reminder to both of us. Through Him, you are the medium that i get to know this path. Thanks again, see you in Jannah my luv, ****.....