refreshing my spirit....

I have stepped into a new paradigm. With a higher level of maturity and compassion, I try to view things through various eyes. Putting myself in people shoes, I've became a 85% of non-judgemental person. How do you want to deal with people who have different background, principles and views in life.

I try to act cool even my heart figuratively is stabbed by knife over and over again.
I try to think i am capable to deal with any difficulties on my own.
I try to create a new entity so that i would be a trendsetter instead of a follower.
I try to draft my plans so that I can obtain an outcome as i have expected.
And I try......

Then,
I think I am not strong,
I think I'm going to collapse,
I think I want to die rather than committing more sins,
I think I want to stop studying and get married early(so funny^^),
I think I am so messy,
I think I am lost...

I'm wondering..
To whom I should turn myself to?
I try to tell someone but i realize they have their own problems,
So I backed off...

And the call I get from my friend just now through Skype,
asking me how I still remain strong in this path..
The Tarbiyah Path..
remind me that I have Him...
He gives myself this strength because this quality solely belongs to him..
And remind me that I am not alone..
And i have Someone to rely on,
Someone who knows the best for me,
Someone who loves me really much to pull me into the real paradigm,
Who make me realize that I am created in this Earth with an intended purposes..

Verily, along with every hardship is relief,
So when you have finished (your occupation), devote yourself to Allah worship
And to your Lord turn all your intentions and hopes.


Ash-Sharh :6-8

p/s : thanks to my friend from Ireland for the call. I know Allah have sent you to convey His reminder to both of us. Through Him, you are the medium that i get to know this path. Thanks again, see you in Jannah my luv, ****.....

lupe...

kite selalu...dekat nak exam berdoa pd Allah, spy dimudahkan usaha..
dalam menghafal, dlm mengingat, even dalam menunggu keputusan..
even kalo kite x bykkan solat, lengahkan semayang, x byk bace quran (alasan study dowh)..
kite stil berharap dgn YG MAHA KUASA...

Soalnye, bile kite dah dapat result 2... kite berbalikkah pd Maha Pencipta??
ada 2 situation iaitu result baek or x baek..
setakat mane level yg dianggap baek 2 bergantung pd individu masing2...
ade org kate kalo pass 2 dah kire baek, ade yg kate dpt A baru baek.. ade jugak kate result A cemerlang terbilang iaitu average more than 90... layan la macam mane pon...

hakikatnye, kalo kite dpt result baek...pas2 org ckp.. "wah, hebat r ko, respek dowh" @
"wei,camne ko stadi...sharing2 la" @ "ko mmg genius la" @ bla blabla

ade x tyme 2 terdetik perasaan kat diri : " hmm, aku stadi efisien, mmg r result gempak"
@ "aku mmg genius, bace ape pun cpt pick up" @ "lecturer n tutor mantap, standard r result hebat"

then bg plak situation apb result x seberapa hebat, ade x terdetik dalam hati,
"hmm, soklan ni susah...geram aku..nyesal stadi smpai kol 1pagi" @
"lecturer ni r x sedap, geram dowh" @ "aku menyampah dgn subjek ni"

apepon respon nye... pernah ke kite berbalik pd Allah... tahu x hakikatnye result or even condition mane pon dah ditetapkan kat Loh Mahfuz??
maksudnye, kalo result kite baek..bkn sbb usaha kite..bkn sbb lecturer kite.. bkn sbb otak kite yg disangka genius abad 21... nehihe (ini impot bhs hindustan)

ape2 yg berlaku dlm hidup ni atau aku analogikan sbg result is not dependent on usaha@amal@perbuatan kite.....so... tidak perlulah nak menyesal jika kite dah buat yg terbaek untuk capai sth... tidak perlulah bimbang sgt akan keputusan yg kite bakal terime... dan tidak perlu memandang enteng akan kepentingan usaha...

sebabnye,bnd yg btol2 dinilai adalah usaha...ni lah markah yg akan decide smd ending kite Syurga @ Neraka...tp ingat dah ckp td usaha x mempengaruhi keputusan.. tp Tuhan maha adil..ape yg kite dpt kat HereAfter adlh dr bende yg kite dah buat kat muka bumi ni....

berbalik pd citer result td....ape2 yg berlaku..berbaliklah pd Tuhan... ingat, dalam kite mengharap suatu keputusan, mintaklah jugak diperkuatkan hati utk terime keputusan 2.. mintaklah dr sumber kekuatan 2..

yg penting,niat btol...dalam kes aku yg tgh blaja ni.... selalu org crampkan otak when it comes 2 exam..
taw nak revise byk bende but dlm proses blaja 2,ape niat kite sbnrnye.. mmg iklas nak blaja ke??

tengok x skg..byk je graduan bile dah masuk alam bekerja involve dlm rasuah, pecah amanah.. ape gune ilmu yg dah digali 2?? x heran jugak bnde yg kite blaja kejap je bley luput.. tetapkanlah keiklasan untuk blaja so that mase yg kite spend utk blaja bermanfaat 4 our life in the future..

don b a forgetful person... remind ourselves, we r one of His creations in dis Earth..

p/s: ayat aku berputar belit lg... mintak ampun na

mau jdik robot ka???

after 3 minggu aku kije d kilang ceri ni, akhirnye jadilah aku seorg penganggur bertauliah..

nak taw level tauliah aku??

aku menyepi dr fb,blog, even hp(yg mulenye disangka ilang), berguling2 dan menyumbat makanan dlm system peristalsisku.... aku dah fed up.. nak jadi ular sawa ke ape??

uwa..apekah...bygkan dpt 2000 dolar tp tup tap mcm dah abih..hmm, ape ni??
rezeki aku ni berkat ke?? bimbang benar sbb aku x rase nikmat duit yg aku dpt ni..

dah la duit mara x masuk lagi,,mmg sgt gusar hati ni...terpk mcm mane nak smbut junior..kene2 diorg nak tumpang umah..byk jugak kene spend tp aku xkisah pon..sgt excited nak smbut diorg (bouncing up n down olredi)...

kene2 aku bukak la fb.ade la sumone memberi berite..yg mana aku mendapat rezeki x semena-mena.. heran bin ajaib kan.. maha suci tuhan Allah mmg die la yg Memberi..

aku berazam,even cutiku masih pjg.. aku mahu berhenti jdik robot.. iaitu manusia yg kejenye buat bnde same tnpa discover apekah motif d sebalik perbuatan diorg.. kononnye duit lah tujuannye..tp kene gaye duit yg keluar mcm air, setakat manekah nilai sebenar duit 2??

pk la sendiri..korg join sekaki x dlm persatuan robot-robot ni..

p/s : tidurku, hidupku, makanku,sujudku hanyalah untukMu

kami

skg dah masok thn baru..

but siyes,i've some plans drafted in my head.... *spinning2*

kenangan aku g kutip ceri sgt syok.. priceless........

aku yg paling muda...bersame akak2 yg aku rase xde barrier.. kami rapat.. try 2 imagine.. jus within 3 weeks we'd became so close, closer than my friends that i've met in brisbane..



this ukhwah is strengthened by Him.. nak katekan kitorg sume course len2, dr uni laen2.. but we have our similarity that is our belief in Allah...

and He has bonded our heart, thicker than alkyne bond.. susah nak break woo....

to kak ezzathy, kak nisya, kak dal, kak diba, kak intan, kak fini, kak dee, kak aisyah, kak naniey, kak dayah, and kak anis.. c u again in Jannah=)

bingung

Men Propose but God Dispose

Kite hanye pandai merancang tapi Tuhan yg menentukan...

Aku penah plan b4 cuti utk blaja kereta...rase bhw mase yg ade b4 bertolak pg melbourne is sufficient enough 4 me 2 master driving skill..

skali plan tu cancel trus... tp aku hepi sbb mmg byk tpt yg aku pijak cuti ni..ade mase nnt aku upload la photo dlm this blog...

kengkadang aku terase putus angin utk menulis..xtahu ape tujuan sebenar buat blog *sigh*

dan kengkadang ketandusan idea... ape yg aku dapat sebenarnye??

dan aku kembali bingung..... ape yg aku nak buat sebenarnye ni......

cukup ke?

penah x ko rase hidup ko hepi je...
ape yg ko nak ko dapat
dan ko merase ko lah manusia yg bahagia
ko mampu buat semuanye
sebab ko rase diri itu sgt terer
ko lupe sape yg bg ko nikmat segale

then bile musibah menimpe
ko xnak terime hakikat
ko cube blame org sekeliling
ko merintih mengeluh
bertanye kenape ko yg perlu lalui dugaan ini

ko sedar x
dlm ko mengangkat jari telunjuk utk salahkan org
4 jari lagi menjurus ke arah ngko

ko sedar x
TUHAN tu ade
tempat memohon segala

ko sedar x
bila ko susah
ko baru nak tunjuk muke
memohon dan berdoa

tp mase ko senang
ape yg ko buat??
enjoy sakan x ingat dunia
xreti beza dosa ng pahale

ko sedar x
ko tu xde ape2
hanye belas kasihan TUHAN yg bg ko bernafas kat dunie

then ko perasan
nak masuk syurga

ko tau x
tpt itu mahal hargenye
ko tau x
azab neraka itu pedih x terkire

then...
nape ko stil bertangguh??
sbb ko rase ko hidup lame ke?

sedar x
Tuhan bley tarik nyawe kite bile2...

rase2...
cukup ke amal kite nak berhadap ng die??

strength

Then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Oh ho, Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away, hey yea

Hmm, looking for a hero... everyday we have sth that we r afraid of.. it is undeniably wrong that we r not having fear of the uncertainty that our future holds..

but when we r still gasping for air in this Earth,we still have to go on.....
But remember, we have Him....

Jus don't forget to supplicate His Blessings for the days lie ahead n He'll stand by us=)