OUT OF DA COCOON.....

Noni & aku..otw nak p South Bank..

I remembered when one of my Indian friend asked me; “Have u made many friends here?”…
It took me a few seconds to respond. What I realized was that I was to preoccupied with my Malay friends. We sat in lecture theatre together an even my partners for Bio project and lab were also Malays. Don’t forget the tutorials, I still sit with my Malay friends.
And when language barrier issue is raised, everyone come up with their own smart excuses. Hey, what happen to us guys?? Do we remember the purpose of our sponsor sending us to study here. It involved Malaysians money through tax that is levied on them. Let me tell u, the sponsors(MARA.JPA,FELDA, PETRONAS, PNB, bla3) want us to develop our social skills especially communication. They put astounding hope on us, in which our experiences that we gain here can be brought back for the sake of our country.
But it is totally disappointing when some of the Malays decide to mingle with their type only. AND then u want to blame ur Malay frens that mingle with others, thinking that she/he is leaving u. Hey, sedar la diri!!!! I’m not ur mother!!! Nak berkepit ng ko je!!!! Den u r thinking the mat n minah salleh r isolating u.. it’s not bcoz they r alienating u, instead it’s bcoz u r creating a thick layer around urselves lol!!! That is why it’s hard for them to approach u..
This is OZ, a country that has high diversity of people, coming from different backgrounds. Mix with them PLIZ!!! I don’t ask u to tune in into their lifestyle but learn their culture, so that they can accept u despite who u are.
I have many non-Muslims friends but they have no prejudice 2wards me. It depends to the way we behave urselves…. Sometimes they r asking about my religion, y I’m practicing hijab.. n the most wonderful moment is when my Korean friend decide 2 wear hijab 2 avoid disturbance from strangers.. I jus happy as long as she is happy..
Can u imagine what will happen if we r being enveloped in safety zone by neglecting other non-Malay people…how can misunderstanding about Islam can b erased.. I remember a quote from al-Quran that mentions God create us with different types of people so that we can make friends with each other. But I alredi forgot the verses..
My frens, it’s not that I hate u..it’s not that I’m forgetting u guys.. we still have conversation with each other.. But sometimes, I wanna u 2 remember that there r many people besides Malays in this world.
If u r disagree wif me, it’s olrite bcoz we hv our own opinion rite?? But still, I WANNA GO OUT FROM THIS COCOON!!!

letih

aku letih,buat bnde sama........

g klas,balik umah, view blog org,surf intenet...studi sket dan tdo..
makin lame makin lara...
ape dah jdik ni.......

Tuhan,bg la aku kekuatan utk lawan sume distractions...

~~aku bingung

Inikah CINTA???

zaman remaja tibe....mulalah ade pandang2 jeling.
maka ramailah pasangan dara n teruna bersame..
romantik,loving habis n bla3x, sampai xingat dunia dan dosa pahala…..

bile mai turn aku… ade sorang boo-duck yg aku ingat dielah laki yang terbaek buat aku…
tapi aku buat rules,, no meseg or kol during exam period..only during holiday ok
abis spm declare which i felt lain macam..

then kgkawan cakap die men kayu tiga...then clash,pedih jap hati
haha, tp 2 zaman lama..

pk2 balik..cinta sahabat pd aku sbbkan mereka reveal perkara sebenar... thanz kengkawan!!!

dan yg penting, cinta hakiki,ALLah yg Maha ESa, Dia bg peluang untuk aku tersedar dari pengalaman ‘bercouple’..pedihnye hati mase 2..aku serik dan dgn coupling process ni...

in fact, if a man really serious wanna u to b his partner, he will meet ur parents, asking ur hand 4 marriage in which he's comitted 2 u….
besides dat, it’s jus maen2… i hold dat principle until naw. dan TUHAN kekasih yg terulung la yg akan bagi lelaki terbaik buat kite..

“lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan yg baik”

so dalam nakkan Mr.Right 2 kena la latih diri 2 b a MRS.RIGHT….
diri ni masih byk khilafnye..
tp aku percaya CINTA TErAGUNG aku akan berikan yg terbaik untuk hamba-Nye..
Ameen..

aku ingat die

org pggil ko buah sbb ko ske senyum mcm buah 2..2 le jwpn ko tyme aku tnye dulu....
mule2 aku knal ko tyme ko perform dgn violin d stage...
aku yg krg sentimental x terkesan la sgt....tp ko hbat,dijemput utk perform.. den ko join orkestra,den aku akan menyemak kdg2 tyme ko practice,hehe...

kite jdik2 bwp same2....kite ponteng klas same2..kite berjalan 5000m same2..huhu
aku pegi umah ko,kite tdo lewat same2...
yg aku nampak,ko sunyi d c2...berhubung dgn rmai org thru intenet...rmai btol org2 kontek ko,sbb ko kan kaunselor=)

sbb umah ko yg dekat ng sekolah,mmg aku slalu g umah ko..dan sedikit demi sedikit aku knal ko..dr ko, aku blaja byk bnd....aku knal persahabatan,aku knal percintaan... walau ade yg pdih sume 2 bg aku amat berharge
pling syok bile tyme cuti ko bawak beskal g skolah..then rmai2 berebut nak naek beskal 2.....haha

aku ingat ko yg slalu sakit...pagi terlantar kat katil....sakit2 ko...ko stil riang hepi2....
thanz 4 providing a shoulder 4 me to cry on...teringat zmn aku mengamuk kat sorg budak...
ko ade d c2,utk tenangkan aku....
teringat tyme aku apply telekom scholarship,ko ade d c2,uruskan hal segala,like u r my sis...huhuhu...dan aku taw ko mmg ade utk aku...

ingat janji aku dulu...bile besar nnt kalo senang aku akan support ko.... xbley support,aku tolong yg termampu....dan smpai skg aku pegang janji 2...

sungguh aku xkan lupekan ko..
dan aku berterima kasih pd Tuhan,kerna kurniakan teman seperti ko...=)

lost

why dis happen 2 me??

it has been 2weeks i'm stuck in devastation. everythg said by people gradually diminish in my eardrum. i'm lost, without fully comprehending my lesson... i speak less,bcoz i cant understand more....

2 my housemate n frenz ,sorry if i've ignored u guys for most of the time bcoz i really need a space 4 myself...

My God, giv me the strength to cope wif burden that seems to heave myself......
there'll b no white flag above my door..i wanna keep going..hope 2moro'll b a better day 4 me...

da chance

it has been 3 months i'd left KMB.... there r my footprints, my trash n part of my heart there..
it is a place where i'd tried 2 create my new entity,without considering people perception..

when i'm rewinding the first day i was there, i'd determined to ignore any posts related to Student Representative Council bcoz the burden that i had in MRSM PC was already enugh 4 me.. my intention was to join the challenging and famous clubs here. Hence, i really worked 4 it.. i participated in MPAC(drama club), dancerobics(well-known among girls), tae kwan do and Fish For Life )( this is the climax of my involvement in outdoor activities).

actually, IB students r required to complete 180hours for sports and clubs but i managed to complete 960hours within 2 years as the clubs that i joined are super-duper active... i love the experience 2 b here.. there r litres of sweats and tears involved in finishing the tesis, business report,bla3..

i'm not an excellent student in KMB but i'm still grateful to b an average student.. mY real aim before was to go to Intec because i really wanted 2 further my study at OZ...and the programme there is shorter than IB.. i'd made my mind to enjoy my life in KMB without intervention from anyone... despite of living in isolated place,surrounded by palm oil trees, i went out to Intec and taylors during weekends to meet my x-PC friends, and still, i felt a hole in my heart..it's so empty.... there r guys who offer their hands for a serious relationship 2 fill the hole but i rejected them.. i dont believe with love b4 marriage anymore.. is it make sense for teenagers who are unable 2 give a definite answer about responsibility claim that they can provide us wif the ultimate happiness... lol

KMB is an islamic school(this is agreed by many KMB students),but i'm quite skeptical with the nice people. Do they hv a happy life by restricting themselves from enjoyment? i became rebellious with the religious programmes but at one point when in a lecture theatre, stg struck into my heart... even my heart was hardened with ego, i cried endlessly(without anyone noticing it)...
the people in Africa ,Palestin n other Islamic countries r fighting 4 the sake of religion but in my country, there r so many Muslims destroying their faith....

the turning point eventually brought me to Al-Quran, real understanding about Islam... sometimes i'm wondering y Allah still give me this opportunity even i always neglect His orders.
it took me about 1 year to b really confident with my faith.. b4 this i was often curious with my own faith.. is it really true?? but now, i'm sure this DEEN is the truth comes from Him 4 us to practice..My god, i'm very weak.. there r so many dirts in my heart.. give me the Light, to guide me to the right path..

thank u becoz in KMB, finally i found my answer.. my faith...my understanding about Islam.. THANKs A LOT 4 this chance... n kMB, i love u bcoz of these splendid experiences.. u 'll remain in my heart ever after... =)

"adek pelik" episod 1

adek pelik ni bile kisahnye dirungkai kembali..mmg buat satu family tergelak bercampur perasaan takjub...

adek pelik ini mase kecilnye selekeh..org kedah ckp 'belemoih'..kalo org kelantan plak ckp 'boloq'... pg klas pg2 ng baju uniform putih...ptgnye balik umah baju jdik kale coklat or kuning(gara2 air teh @ teh susu yg tumpah mase rehat)...kainnye asyik terkoyak sampi ke lutut(gara2 berlawan lari dgn budak laki)

kat rumah lg dasyat...adek pelik ni ade dunia die sendiri....die slalu nyanyi lgu air pasang pg kat berande rumah..sampaikan jiran akan mengajuk.....adeq pelik ni bercita2 nak jdik ahli gimnastik mase besar....so die slalu buat style gymnatis yg putar2 2...tp skg flexibilty adek pelik berkurang sbb krg practice..xjadilah die ahli gimnastik..

kdg2 die bwk beluam(beluam ni maksudnye brg yg slalu dibawak dgn byk ke mana2 shj...spt alat permainan yg dibawak dlm kotak)..tp beluam adek pelik ni adalah kain2 lebihan yg dijahit mak..mak amik upah menjahit...so kain2 yg x digune akan digunting kecil oleh adek dan adek akan bwk beluam 2 jalan... kdg2 adeq pelik maen tanah sorg2 kat bawah umah...drpd tanah ng air adeq pelik buat kedai kek...mcm2 btk kek.xcukup tanah adek pelik korek tanah pkai sudu(byk cacing msuk dlm badan adek..patot die kurus mase kecik)..tp sbb mak asyik bebel ng adeq plak yg taksub men tanah..abg robohkan kedai kek adeq mase adeq tdo...adek yg bgn mase tgk kedainye musnah sedih.. den adek berlari sembunyi bawah rumah pk sorg2...rahsie adek pelik yg suke sembunyi bawah rumah sorg2 kekal smpai skg..

then adek pelik stat menanam pokok...kangkung yg dibeli mak ade akar..akar yg dibuang 2 adek plik amek dan tanam...stil,adek pelik pkai sudu nak korek tanah......kangkung2 2 tumbuh subur menghijau...then mak potong kangkung2 2 nak buat cucur...adek pelik sdih tgk kangkungnye diambil....adeq pelik tanam pokok2 bunga2..adek slalu ckp ng pokok2 2...mmg dia sgt taksub la ng pokok2 yg die tanam...bile adik pelik msuk asrama...mase cuti bile balik umah adek pelik tgk pokok die mati sbb xde org jge...bye2 pokok2...

then mase kecik adeq plik suke men beskal...die akan berlatih sorg2 pkai basikal abg yg besar gedabak...bpe kali jatuh dah..lekat byk parut kat adeq pelik smpai skg...ptg2 slalunye adek pelik nyanyi sorg2 kat halaman umah..menari putar2..lawak btol

kakak, abang n mak sgt bimbang ng adek pelik ni...mcm budak terencat akal...dah la die sgt slow..umo 6 tahun xpandai pgg pensel dgn btol...darjah 1 adeq plik stil x kenal lg ABC...adek pelik xtaw ape2...mmg slow la...mak sgt bimbang dgn perkembangan anaknye yg sorg ni...ske bawak beluam, ckp ng pokok..nyanyi menari sorg...mmg adek pelik ni xde kawan..hanyut dlm dunia die

tp adek pelik ni...mmg die bersungguh-sungguh buat ape yg die suke..adek pelik suke benar bile daftar sekolah rendah..hari2 tanye mak bile die boleh masok sekolah....bile tibe hari 1st sekolah, die dah siap mandi,mkn,pkai baju mase kol 6 pgi hari2..then adek pelik merajuk bile kene tg abg yg siap lewat...stu lagi.adek ni slalu menggayakan baju sekolah mlm2 depan cermin..bnd ni melekat sampai die tingkatan 3..betapa adek pelik yg abg ng kakak ingat terencat akal ni sgt semangat nak sekolah

dalam kelas...sbb adek pelik ni bodoh2..mmg jdi magse buli..selalu org suke soh die sapu klas hari..tp adk pelik gembire...selagi xsiap sapu sekelas,adek pelik xkan pg kantin makan sarapan..
adek pelik sgt slow menyalin..so,die akan salin huduh2..mlm2 stay up untuk salin nota cikgu cantik2 dlm buku..skali adek pelik dpt no 3..hari2 die tatap buku catatan 2..gembire le 2.... rezeki adek pelik die dpt 5A dlm UPSR...bile dah abih sekolah rendah,die stil lg menyalin nota2 cikgu sekolah rendah 2...

adek pelik ni mase sekolah rendah mmg org cam dr jauh...sbb slalu xpkai anak tudung..stokin ng lencane xde..kain ng poket baju slalu terkoyak..selekeh benar budak ini ...dlm kelas die senyap,x hirau org laen..ade budak laki wat nakal kat die mmg makan penumbuk la...ganas ye adek plik ni..so rmai lelaki xsakat le die...mcm2 budak ni

pagi yg cerah

aku bangun,matahari xterik lagi.. slalunye tyme panas mendidih...cair sunburn yg aku pkai hari2...

queensland ni org kol sunshine state..nampak sgt matahari terik kat cnie... awan slalunye xde... mendidih r kepala ni..blomkat pdg masyhar lg... ok aku telah merepek....

entah..pg ni... sbbkan aku nak menulis...ops...tibe2 dah terik skg...cpat btol...aiseh..

kalo sidai baju..mmg r nak matahari terik...tp balik dr uni xtahan....nak cuace mendung..hehe.. ngada2....

memang manusia, dpt yg ni nak plak yg lain.....susah tol nak bersyukur.... pg ni jugak..aku bingung utk start kije ape... there r piles of assignment 2 b done.... final examjus around the corner... revision?? this one aku plg berdebar...

ok...stop mengarut..aku nak sambung kije(ape ah nak dibuat?).....

neutral

neutral...bukan berasid n even bkn beralkali..... tidak lebih n x kurang... senang cakap... x obses...sederhana je...

2 le yg plg cool..... bile banding ng feeling manusia...x terlalu gembira n x terlalu sedih... x hepi sgt bile dpt rezeki..dpt markah tinggi ke... dapat duit ke...org blanje mkn ke... dpt partner hencem n cun ke..mcm2 lg la...

dan xsedih sgt bile ade malapetaka..pen drive ilang ke..duit tercicir ke..hp or laptop rosak ke, markah exam truk ke(maap le,saye ni student,mmg suke bg contoh hal akademik)...

hebatnye org beriman adlah die x terlalu hepi mase diberi nikmat..sbb die ingat sume nikmat 2 Allah bg..kalo x ..xde can r nal seposen pon..

hebatnye org beriman jugak sbb die xsdey melampau mase ade prob.. sbb die taw Allah tgh menguji die...sbb die sdar Allah nak die reflex balik diri die.. sweet kan...

jadilah sederhana
aku suka ayat ni taw, dr Abraham lincoln

"God must love average people,bcoz He created so many of them"

so bersederhanalah..tp jgn lo korg tafsir boleh bersenang-lenang nak berpoya.. usaha slow dlm kije ape2,bg konsisten ma

budgeting~~

salam..



dengan niat nak menulis ape yg aku dah bebel ng diri sendiri.....



ape yg korg paham dgn budgeting? root wordnye budget aka belanjawan. terbayang menteri bergaduh kat parlimen ke.. or utk org yg amik commerce or accountacy... mesti berkeliput figures dlm brain korg..



ok,now aku mau stop mengarut....point nye : budgeting pd pendapat aku adalah bermakna perasan...@ riak, takabbur,ujub..bla3.....memang parah bile feeling ni melekat kat hati... salahkan sape..setan?? dah tugas diorg mencucuk...



alkisahnye aku terkena jugak penyakit ni...... B4 ni aku slalu dpt full mark for chem prac sbb ade sorg tutor baek hati bername Angeline Chan(kalo die muslim kan bagus) akan soh students die btolkan jwpn..mmg sume dpt full mark la.. aku yg ari ni ade prac kan xsedia sgt la smlam..budget boleh full mark kan..(perasan tahap karma)



tibe2 arini die diganti oleh tutor dr singapore..yg ni strict skit..so aku salah satu soklan n xdpt chance nak btolkan..then my mark is deducted 0.5...full stop... uwa3,sdey taw.hatiku ditusuk tajam..rase mcm nak putar balik mase..then terpk; kalo la aku tanye org,kalo la aku bace btol2.etc..



den ingat2 balik ..penggunaan 'kalau' utk menyesali perkara yg dah berlaku akan bukak jln utk dibisik setan..die akan tambahkan penyesalan kite..buat kite lagi sdey... cinabeng ko makhluk terkutuk!!!!



tp act bnd ni bg aku reflex ... bhw ilmu 2 milik DIA yg TERULUNG..sape lagi, Allah kan... ilmu yg kite ade jike kumpul sume manusia jus ibarat buih d lautan ..tp stil kan kite nak rase bijak dan smart(aku le 2)..kene2 lg bile org mintak ajar something..mule2 niat nak tolong org..lgpon ilmu ni kalo dikongsi lg bertambah bkn lg berkurg..hebat kan..tp in process of aiding people 2 sometimes my intention has shifted..suddenly, i feel i'm the one who r the hebatest(i'm using present tense bcoz this incident keeps repeating,ni process nak mengikis penyakit budgeting le)..

susah kan nak buang penyakit ni..bahaya dowh...takabur riak dan adik-beradiknye ni masok syirik kecil dowh... istifar byk2,aiseh.. pepon,mmg kite tend buat kesilapan tapi beristifarlah bile dah terbuat@membuat.. even payah,tp proses kite membaiki diri dr sifat ni bley dapat pahala ..drpd surah at_taubah ayat 194:

"Berangkatlah kamu dengan rasa ringan maupun dgn rasa berat, dan berjihadlah dgn jiwa dan hartamu d jln Allah.yg demikian adlh lbih baik bgmu jika kamu mengetahui."

Yang demikian 2 refer kepada perkara yg memerlukan usaha keras(kan Allah berfirman dgn perkataan berat)...maksudnye,jgn rase down kalo slalu fail nak improve diri...tp keep climbing 2 our aim.. Allah sayang dgn hambaNya yg usaha berterusan..bnd ni bolehle nak aplikasi kat dlm aspek laen(aspek ape 2,lu pk la sendiri,jenuh aku nak menaip nih....)..

conclusinye,mehla delete penyakit huduh ni ye....budgeting yg professional bunyinye ini not good...as we 4get whi r we in dis world ....kalo susah sgt nak kikis perasaan ni,aku sujes korg p cari pengikis kat makmal Kemahiran Hidup nu..

pepon,aku mau habiskan entri ni dgn ayat ciplakan dr lagu KuBerlari.....adela part yg aku xingat..layan ajela

xkan berhenti...ku kejar mimpi...
kulangkahkan kaki ini......

dan aku ..tinggalkan masa gelapku
dan lalu mulakan jalanNya kernaMu
semangat Rabb...
selama jam ku bergetar..
selama itu, xkan berhentiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
berlari kukejar mimpi...
terus berlari,agar hidup ini bererti!! =) (marilah kita BERLARI)

sabar

alkisah jadik suatu insiden apb aku marah kat orang, sume bende %^#*@*@ keluar...

pk2 balik, nyesal la plak.. tu la orang habaq, cakap siang2 dengaq2, ckp malam pandang2...
bile aku berang....memang aura 2 terpancar, naseb x keluar asap,kalo x boleh nak didihkan air secerek...

ade sorg sister nak tenangkan aku, die bg aku ayat al-Quran:

"Ada ketika bila ditanya,untuk apa buat semua ini?"Yang menjadikan mati & hidup untuk menguji antara kamu yg paling baik amalannya" Al-Mulk :2

Siyes,aku xnafikan kebenaran al-Quran.. dulu aku xsedar yg al-Quran 2 memang seswai sbg pegangan hidup...untuk kite refer...
yela, yg ciptanya 2 adalah Maha Esa...
siyes, bile tengok terjemahan 2, rase tertampar-tampar kat diri... banyaknya dosa aku..

terutama pd orang yg dah aku sakitkan hati.. da prob is, bile aku dah marah,
pressure 2 mmg x turun2.. mcm mengembang-ngembang, kena lepas..
ingat bile sorg kwn aku ckp,makan dalam nnt....

hmm.kisah marah ni terjadi bile termakan cucukan setan..memang aku mudah jadik mangsa makhluk terkutuk ni.. kalo ade confidence interval, sure 95% marah aku akan meletus...

ayak.................padahal sgt beruntung org yg bersabar ni....
aku rase ni le kelemahan aku... susah benor nak develop perasaan sabar ni...
mmg trait warisan ayah kot... tp mak aku plak, mmg sabar tahap sgt direspeki...
mak penah cakap, anak2 die sume terime trait panas baran dr ayah,kui3..


tp act bende 2 xley jdik alasan..mmg aku kene berlatih dr skg.....
manusia dikurnikan akal dan hati....mmg sia2 r kalo x guna sebaiknye...
so,azam aku adlah mau sabar...
xheran la bunyik skema,asalkan bende ni baek, dapat pahala dowh... so rakan2,sama2 kita bersabar na

"SABAR ITU SEBAHAGIAN DARIPADA IMAN"

p/s: abaikan kerosakan bahasa..yg penting mesej sampai...huhu

ayat permulaan

salam

nie aku dah bermula...tibe2 tergerak hati nak blogging..

entah...

bende ni aku xpenah terpk dr dulu

tp for starting ok kot..

nak dikatekan,ilham ni dapat bile sorg kawan aku dedicate entry dlm blog die khas utk aku..

bile aku bace blog die,mmg aku taw

die lepaskan segala..

hebat..die pon byk followers..hehe

tapi...aku jus nak mule...kpd kawan2..

jus wanna say..this is the starting of my blogging world..

xtaw samade aku komited ke tak nnt..

tapi..maybe bile aku mau meluah perasaan,

blog mungkin satu option yg bagus..

tp perlu sedar yg Dia ade untuk mendengar segalaaNya..

to my frenz and family,i dedicate this blog 4 u guys....

=)